The debut album from LA's Steel Panther has finally landed (technically the second album if you count "Hole Patrol" back when they were known as Metal Skool).
Kicking straight off is debut single "Death To All But Metal", a vicious lambast against all those that basically ain't metal. How they've managed to record this without various lawsuits is totally amazing! If you hate most of the popular music scene then this is the song for you. Chinese style music and crunchy guitars introduce "Asian Hooker", a salute to well, basically, Asian Hookers!!! This song had me grinning from start to finish with some totally amusing stand out lyrics such as "Sucky Fucky Smells Like Sushi" (Courtesy of Slipknots Corey Taylor). Things mellow out with the Warrantesque ballad "Community Property"; this is a tender little love song of the X-Rated variety. Yet more humorous lyrics ensue especially the chorus of "My Heart belongs To You But My Dick is Community Property".
"Eyes Of A Panther" unfortunately has to be the blandest song on the album although a headbanger of a track. It just didn't do it for me! Back into power ballad territory next with the Whitesnake sounding "Fat Girl (Thar She Blows)", this is a tender little song about girls of a certain size that some may find offensive and purile, depending on the listeners' sense of humour, yet more dumb as a box of rocks lyrics that put a huge grin on my face. Things pick up pace again with a song for the dudes "Eatin' Ain't Cheatin'" this has a serious feel of early Winger to it that basically states "and for the guys" in the readership.
A false Bon Jovi intro kicks in "Party All Day (Fuck All Night)", this is a total party anthem of the highest order. Simply, this track kicks ass and should be used to kickstart weekdays and weekends all over the globe. Squealing guitars and power drumming kickstart "Turn Out The Lights", a pleasant little ode to the after effects of a heavy night of partying where you think you pull a stunner but it turns out to be a reject from some bizarre zoo the next morning. Yet more classic lyrics in this song such as "Oh My God I Think I'm Gonna Hurl I Just Hope to God That You're A Girl". This left me with a major grin on my face. Back into ballad territory next with "Stripper Girl", this is a funny as fuck song about the musician's cheque as they used to be known. This song had me laughing like a maniac with more classic lyrics such as "I'll Be There To When You Fall If You Buy My An I Phone You Can Give Me A Call". Things rock back up with the electric static intro of "The Shocker", this is a good song but lyrically I found it to be a little on the dull side. An Extreme style intro slows the pace down again with "Girl From Oklahoma", this is yet another classic about scoring chicks after the show and leaving people waiting for them. This one yet again had me grinning from ear to ear especially the cheap dig at Poison hidden within! The album closes on a full force guitars set to stun amps in the red high with "Hells On Fire". This song is a cheap dig at 80's Kiss but rocks the fuck out and won't leave you without your horns up and headbanging like a lunatic.
This album won't set the
world alight in years to come but then again they could quite easily take the
legacy from Spinal Tap. If you can track it down I highly recommend checking
out the back catalogue from the Danger Kitty, Metal Skool days you won't be
by Dizzy Starr
Ex-LA Guns singer Ralph Saenz's (aka Michael Starr) 80's tribute/parody band Steel Panther have been selling out South California's Key Club fairly regularly for some time now. Tongue in cheek humour, larger than life parody personas, and a wealth of on-stage celebrity guests (ranging from Tom Morello to Pink to April Margera) helped them gain considerable recognition. It was only a matter of time until the guys landed themselves a record deal and set about recording their debut under the Steel Panther name. And what an album!
The album opens with "Death To All But Metal", which most of you would have probably heard by now, if not, well it's a great slab of glam/sleaze rock circa 1987-1992 and brilliantly played, and I love the lyrics, you need to check this album out if only just for the lyrics to this song.
Next up is "Asian Hooker", which happens to feature guest appearences from both Scott Ian (Anthrax) and Corey Taylor (Slipknot), and again is just another out and out rocker. "Comunity Property" is the next track with it's acoustic opening and heartfelt lyrics, and to be honest the lyrics probably reflect the average frontmans attitude from back in the haydays of the glam and sleaze scene. Next up is my favourite track, "Eyes of a Panther", another great rocker, just loving this song. "Eatin Aint Cheatin'" is another fine rocker, followed by "Party All Day" which is Bon Jovi's 'Livin On Prayer', well almost! "Turn Out The Lights" picks up the tempo a little even if it's a lil moody. "The Shocker" is a plodding rocker, not a bad song but not the best on offer here. "Girl From Oklahoma" takes Extreme's 'More Than Words' as its main inspiration, I doubt it will chart as well though... lol! "Feel the Steel" closes with "Hell's On Fire", another great rocker, Bonjoviesque if they could remember how to write rockers.
This album is a great tongue in cheek album by a great tongue in cheek band, a more modern version of Spinal Tap if you will, with the theme being Glam/Sleaze's heyday and the subject being sex, sex and more sex... The musicianship is amazing and the songs are all well crafted, in the style of Kane Roberts (ex Alice Cooper), Whitesnake, Extreme and Bon Jovi!
Rating 10/10 (go on have
by Barry Gennard
Visit the Steel Panther Website