Interview with Crystal Pistol; July 2003

Rock with a grimy edge and attitude, Crystal Pistol have definitely slithered their way into my heart AND CD collection. Their website has been bookmarked as one of my favorite daily online haunts and I think I have in all honestly, been enchanted by these Vancouver, Canadian based rockers. Read on to learn a little more about CP, their recent show with shock rock King Marilyn Manson and the band's thoughts on the current music scene.

Q1: I notice the band is based out of Vancouver. Is there a reason you guys decided on this area to launch your musical attack?

BRIAN: Vancouver seems to be a hot bed of new musical talent and we just don't want to miss out.
GREG:
Money…. We've only been together a year and a half and financially it ain't easy to "musically attack" America (especially with Canadian $$$)… So if there are any wealthy Glitzine readers who want to invest in a REAL rock and roll band call us.

Q2: Why not L.A., N.Y. or any other large music mecca?

MIK: L.A.'s too hot, N.Y.'s too cold and Mecca is too far to walk with a bad case of cocaine psychosis.

Q3: I heard you guys recently played a show with Marilyn Manson. That's great exposure! How did you guys land that gig?

GREG: Something about Mik giving up his first born… or giving head in his first porn… I don't remember…None of us actually talk to one another, we communicate strictly through our lawyers.
MIK:
No, I ran into Mr. Manson at Pentagrams 'R' Us and he had just purchased The Lamp Of God and wanted to know where to find the Beelzebub's.
BRIAN:
I believe Pinto burned up the phone lines getting that gig.

Q4: CP has certainly cornered that grimy, good ol' rock n roll flavor and infused it with some new blood. Can you tell us about some of your influences?

PINTO: I don't think any of us agree or respect each other's musical tastes. Our only common ground is our music.
MIK:
I had a shot for influences... it's colds that I'm afraid of.
BRIAN:
As a band our music is what it is… but if we were to put out solo albums Greg would be in an alt-country band, Pinto would be in a metal band, Dave would be in a heavier metal band, I'd be in a punk band and Mik would be in a straight jacket.

Q5. Tell us about your favorite CP song and the story behind it.

PINTO: My favorite song right now is 'Locomotive'. We don't know where the Hell it came from, but we know where it's goin'.
GREG:
All of them… I don't buy CD's.

Q6. Who does most of the writing or is it a collaborative effort?

BRIAN: Generally most of our songs are a collaboration.
GREG:
Yeah…It's too much fucking trouble to try and remember who did what at the end of the day.
DAVE:
Me.
MIK:
I write and own everything. Don't listen to these bastards.

Q7. Share some thoughts on the musical world at large today. What is the goal of CP and where do you feel your music fits in?

PINTO: The music scene right now is in a terrible state. Imagine if every movie you watched conveyed the same story line and every actor conveyed the exact same emotion over and over again. We're here to give you something a little different from the monotonous crap being crammed down your throats.
BRIAN:
Crystal Pistol just wants to put the F.U. back in rock n roll.
DAVE:
F.U. in rock 'n' roll? What the fuck does that mean?

Q8. What do you enjoy more: recording or performing live?

GREG: Performing
PINTO:
Performing live.
DAVE:
Live.
MIK:
Performing live sex.
BRIAN:
Live. All the way.

Q9. Name your ultimate tour line up. Who would it include and why?

MIK: Crystal Pistol opening for Me and Crystal Pistol.
GREG:
I don't know... I can tell you who we don't want to tour with but it'll take too fucking long.

Q10. Does CP have plans to tour in the near future?

GREG: Just Vancouver dates right now but we're looking at coming down to LA in the Fall.

Q11. If you had one week left to live, what would you do?

MIK: Hire midgets and strippers to carry my lop-sided cock headfirst into the history books of rock 'n' roll.
PINTO:
If I had one week left to live I would immediately start borrowing lots of money.
GREG:
Actually I only have one week left to live… So I have decided to spend it drinking beer and doing internet interviews.

Q12. Do you feel you have any regrets in the life you have lived to date?

MIK: I don't have money for strippers and midgets.
BRIAN:
Life without regrets is a life without chances.
PINTO:
Regrets? I wish I had done more of everything.
DAVE:
Joining this band.

Q13. So, is it REALLY ALL about sex-drugs and rock n roll?

BRIAN: No, it's not all about sex, drugs and rock n roll. You forgot the booze.
GREG:
Yes… just ask my bloated failing liver.

Q14. Think fast: Beer or Hard Liquor? Blondes or Brunettes? Summer or Winter? Black or White?

BRIAN: Hard liquor. Other. Summer. Black.
GREG:
Beer/Brunettes/Winter/Black. Was that some kind of psychological test? Do you want us to look at inkblots next?
PINTO:
Scotch. Blondes. Summer. Blacker White [off white].
MIK:
Both. Both. Fall. Mulatto.

Q15. Final comments?

BRIAN: I'd just like to thank the Lord Jesus for all his love and Larry Flynt for all his inspiration.
PINTO:
"Be careful out there and take care of each other." Jerry Springer
GREG:
Check us out at http://www.crystalpistol.com
MIK:
No.

Interviewed by Noele Shannon

Visit the Crystal Pistol Website