"Crackhouse" are the self styled purveyors of total rock n roll that is their debut album "Hell Motel". This ten-track slab of dirty glam punk was released in late 2007 and yours truly gave it 4 and ½ out of 5. Since then I've played the bastard into the ground with tracks like "10 Minute Girl" and "Does Anyone Care" still making scratch my head as to why these Italian rock gods aren't conquering the world?
Then out of the blue I get an Email from frontman "Kelly" wanting to have a dialogue so what follows is my usual twisted take on things.

Q1. Hey Kelly, thanks for taking time out from your vacation to talk with Glitzine, it's been 12 or 13 years now since you started "Crackhouse", that's a hell of a long time. What gets you guys up in the morning and makes you want to do this?

That's a good question, and the answer is…. fuck knows?
There's no reason! Crackhouse are doomed from the very first day (laughs).
We had, and are still having, all kinds of r'n'r drama. Everything you can imagine: line up changes, verbal and physical fights between the members, lost chances to make it big, money problems… you name it, we got it!
The real reason we still get up in the morning and do this though is that Crackhouse is a very important part of our life, it's not just a way to have fun, meet chicks and have free drinks, it's definitely something more!
It doesn't matter how hard and stressing is to keep this band alive…we just can't live without it!

Q2. And what's cooking (happening) in the "Crackhouse"? What are you, Royce, and the lads up to right now?

Same old, same old: we're struggling to keep the Crackhouse alive as ever.
Tommy, our drummer, just left the band and we're trying out some new kids.
It isn't gonna be easy though cause Tommy was such an excellent drummer and he was in the band for over 6 years.
We're supposed to tour with the German punks "Hollywood Teasze" in October and then with some cool Swedish bands next winter, but at this point no one knows what can happen. (Shrugs)
No rest for the wicked eh Johnny?

Q3. As I said in my review of "Hell Motel", your debut took my by total surprise and is the first I actually heard of you guys. What has prevented you going out and conquering the world and becoming Italy's hottest band in the World?

Well…Some years ago we had underground success here in Italy and instead of working on that we totally lost ourselves on drinking, partying etc… We really had the urge to write new material, to release a new CD, and to confirm ourselves on the "scene" but we just spent like the best part of 3 years on totally unproductive decadence.
So I guess we lost our chance. After those crazy years, and mainly thanks to Royce's efforts, we got our brains back, we then wrote the songs for "Hell Motel" and finally released it.
We're back and now we're following our dream again.

Q4. So what's the Italian scene like? You recently claimed in an interview over at "Veglam" that it was the most un rock n roll place to live.
I think I can name one other Italian sleaze band (The Smellz) and that's only because their singer is a friend of a friend.

We have a lot of r'n'r bands here in Italy but there's no proper scene. No collaboration, no mutual help, and no friendship… we got nothing! Everyone thinks that they are a rock star 'cause their shitty band can draw a decent crowd in the clubs in their local town, and that's it. With this kind of attitude the 90% of the Italian bands are really going nowhere.
Saying that though, i have got to tell you that we respect and truly have good friendships with a handful of bands: Thee S.T.P., Lester and the Landslide Ladies, Hollywood Killerz. Great bands and cool friends.

Check them out on my Myspace, you won't be disappointed.

Q5. You've played with some pretty high profile names from the scene over the years from ""Kevin K to "Tigertailz" and from "Vain" to "Sigue Sigue Sputnik".
Do you have any rock n roll road stories you can share with us, without Glitzine having our arses sued off? (And "no", tales of a certain singer's prolapsed rectum don't count)

Ha!! No… thank God I don't have any tales about *****'s ass, so don't worry!!!
Right, the Gemini Five guys are the kings of Stockholm parties… everyone should go to a Tin Star after show party, he's the sleaze master!!
Kevin K… well the guy is a true survivor and he have real cool stories about Johnny Thunders and Jerry Dolan.
Neal X was a little pissed off 'cause we stole all the Jack Daniel's bottles from the Sputnik dressing room in Milan, but he's a real cool cat and he just laughed on it!
Tigertailz were cool too but it's really hard to understand them with that funny Welsh accent!! (Steady on, now then, boyo) I got some sweet memories of Pepsi Tate… rest in peace rocker!!
I met a lot of cool guys… Dave Tregunna from the Lords of The New Church he was amazing, the Hanoi Rocks dudes too , Chris and Andi from Hollywood Teasze they've become real friends of me.
Gilby Clarke's a real gentleman and Steven Adler…well he's just Steven Adler!!

Q6. On you Myspace profile you declare your occupation as "motherfucker".
My mate's mother recently came back from an Italian holiday humming the tune to "Pleasure Toy". So whose mother have you fucked, and do you normally prefer the older lady?

Dude…I find a little disturbing to think about your mate's mom singing verses like "I work the nightshift wrapped in pvc and I need some discipline"
Oh well… whatever.
I used to date old ladies when I was younger, but now that I'm grown up a big turn on for me is 18-year-old glam sluts!!
Mmm… young flesh... yummy stuff.

Q7. "Crackhouse's" musical influences read like a who's who of what is cool (a bit like my own record collection really), so if you could share a stage with just one of the legendary bands you love, who would it be and why?

Oh man… I got an endless list: how can i choose just one??
Let's say Motley Crue, but I can change my mind in two minutes. (No…Laughs)

Q8. And who fires you guys up right now musically?

Lots of stuff: Gemini Five, Gypsy Pistoleros, Backyard Babies, Crash Kelly, Hollywood Teasze, Hanoi Rocks, Peppermint Creeps, Sparkling Bombs, Kid Rock…

But, to tell you the truth, Lou Reed's Transformer is my obsession right now and has been for over the last two months.

Q9. With the upcoming US election turning into something of an arena rock soundtrack for the candidates, I thought it would be a great idea to have a glam rock president to restore some sort of worldwide equilibrium.
So Kelly to finish off here's your chance to tell the Glitzine voters why they should Get Addicted and vote Kelly Crackhouse come election time.

Vote for Crackhouse and I'll legalize everything!!!

Thanks for taking the time to talk with us at Glitzine. I hope all your dreams com true guys and that the hard work that has obviously gone into the sublimely cool "Hell Motel" pays dividends for you in the future. Peace…Out.

Interviewed by Johnny H

Visit the Crackhouse Website