Drugdealer Cheerleader/Crystal Kicks/Psycho Hosebeast Live @ TC's, Carlisle (UK) - 25th August 2007

Having narrowly missed not getting off the coach in Carlisle, I wondered if this was a sign of things to come... aye, I wasn't far wrong! Saturday evening; you'd expect most towns and cities to be a hive of hustle and bustle ready for the onslaught of the weekend piss-up... not Carlisle! No, Carlisle resembled your very own Wild West Ghost Town, you could almost imagine hay bales rolling on by! Nothing, and I mean 'Nothing' was open, no restaurants, no shops, oh sorry, low n behold, McDonalds was! ARGHHHHHHHH! It got worse, Hilda informed me DDCL weren't due on stage until midnight; my coach home left Carlisle at 00:40! This place was not sitting well in my gullet!

To make things worse (and a little confusing), Carlisle openers 'Psycho Hosebeast' were due to play The Brickyard... next door... BEFORE playing TC's, and all I can say is... Oh My God!!! I think they thought the crowd were laughing with them, but sorry to disappoint, they were laughing at you. The songs were epic but with no real substance making them drab and drawn-out, and if it hadn't been for the self-combusting vocalist this could have turned out to be the longest short set of my life. As time drew on, they began to waste time fucking about and in the end had to be asked to leave the stage. Afterall, they weren't the headliners, there were another two bands yet to play and Crystal Kicks were starting to look a little worse for wear!

CK finally hit the stage around 11:30pm and having seen them at Trashstock only a week ago, it was kind of nice to know what to expect (or so I thought). Whilst they didn't ring my bell too much in Nottingham, they ding-a-linged my donger like Big Ben striking twelve tonight. What I mistook last week as raucous hardcore should really have been noted as raw energy. Yeah, they were a little bit sloppy, but so were The Sex Pistols and look how big they became! I like a band who can get on stage and have fun no matter how quiet the night may be, and boy oh boy did they have fun. It's amazing what a lil bit of alcohol can do, hehe! This wasn't their best performance by far (so I was told) but who gives a stuff. These guys live, breathe and snort punk and I honestly think they'd clamber on stage flu-ridden and play to an audience of 3 if they had to. Tonight they played to an audience of around 20 and having scanned the room it seems Carlisle were not quite ready for the onslaught of the Scots.

Ohhhh... this was turning into a long night, and a cold one at that! But, alas... the reason I actually came to this God forsaken place... DDCL! 3 hours later than originally expected, the guys strutted their torso's and took to the floor. But where were Crystal Kicks? I was hoping for a stage and floor-show, but nope, nowhere to be seen. Thankfully, those still located within the building clambered out from their pits to show their support, boogie-ing on down with the gorgeous Scottish Cheerleaders. Boys... if you wanna rock with your cock unhinged you MUST get yourself to a DDCL show, this could be your wildest fantasy come true, a 100% guarantee you will NOT be disappointed. We're talking the shortest of short/short ra-ra skirts, and that was just the band! Kidding! DDCL are premier league cosmic battallions, hammering out party attitude with finesse and really could give the UK market the shake-up it needs. 'Ms LaPish' was a blinding opener and set the elated mood for this 11-song set, although I'm not too sure they should be singing about being back in school, naughty boys! 'X E Cute My X' saw Cheerleaders Hannah and Kat take to the stage to join Hilda's side, and boy did they shake those poms, but stand-out track for me tonight was 'LMFAO', and I really was laughing my fucking ass off all the way through, because it's so damn true (find the lyrics and read them, you'll see what I mean!) A blinding night had by all and I for one will be counting down the days til I can catch another live DDCL show. Cheers guys!

by Spice D. Warlock

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